...even when I want to give up. It is times like these that makes me wish my life was different. In a subtle way here and there, but different somewhere. Things that have happened, I can never change. I can only learn from those events that were inevitable. However, although I have learned a great dea in a semi-short time frame, I am still fearful of tomorrow. I find myself hesitant to spend $3.00 on toothpaste. Please, do not mistake me for a cheapskate or a penny pincher. I am just fearful of that famous saying,'the past always repeats itself'. If I ever had to relive those past events, it would be then that I lose my strength and quit on myself. I love my friends and the little family that I do have, but twice in one lifetime is a wager that I do not have the funds to risk. That is a debt that I can never afford. What keeps my going is a dream. The dream of dreams that will one day be real to me. A dream of a life of completion. A dream of the sense of satisfaction. As of right now, I do not believe in monetary value. Where I want to be is somewhere that money can never take me. I would love for my mother and little brothers to have the wealth of the world. I do not need it. As long as certain assets are secured, I can go along with my life as I would like to. Playing a guitar and drinking a Pina Colada with my wife at my side, relaxing. Maybe a son to teach backside ollies to. A daughter to take to the park and have food gatherings with. Who knows such things? All I know is that this is all just a dream. Dreams feel just like reality when you are in them. Are you dreaming right now? Are you awake? Awaken yourself, then fall back asleep. Dream with me and let the stars set us free.
Excuse my gibberish. I have a slight headache and I'm playing Kingdom Hearts. SMH.
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