the future looks bright for the lovers...

I was thinking to myself on this cold, December night. We are nearing the dawn of a new year. We have so many things to be thankful for. While we are ridding ourselves for what I hope was a fruitful year for all, we are gaining a fresh new start in order to either gain more success or to start a new chain of positive events. I patiently await the beginning of 2009, for which will be my power year, but I appreciate so much that 2008 brought to me. We never had to meet. I never had to write a word in this blog. Yet, I did. Yet, we met. Of all the people in America, you met me. Of all the people on the internet, we found each other and continue to keep our interests. Of all the people that live, we ran into each other, yearning to be touched by someone. Anyone. I do not loathe those that have found someone else to keep them company and actually enjoy it. For it is them that give me hope. Hope that not all women suck. Hope to know that, one day, I will enjoy the permanent company of a women that is lucky enough to have me and I will be as lucky to have her. Was that a run on sentence? Maybe. I dunno. Cheers!

The Spirit Within

For a very long time now, I have been living with very limited guidance. Everything that I've done in life was done for selfish reasons. Thus far, I never lived with purpose. My heartbeat was just a timb bomb, ticking towards the inevitable end. Somewhere along the way, I realized that something has been guiding me unconsciously. Subconsciously? I don't really know how but the presence has become undeniable.

Ever since high school, I've seen the same number everywhere. 222. For the people that know me, they know the significance of this number.2:22pm was the official time of dismissal. I would be playing NBA Live at home and pause the game and there would be 2:22 left in the quarter. I'd walk around randomly and aimlessly and then look up and I would be standing in front of building 222. I was at work one day and there was a woman standing in front of me. I looked on the back of her neck and there it was. 222. Tattooed there. I asked her what it meant and she said that she saw that number everywhere she went so she got it tattooed on her. Seeing this number everywhere I go made me think 'what does it all mean'? I asked my mom what she thought it meant. She usually has the answer to everything. She told me that she didn't know what it meant but she was sure it meant something. I asked her what she meant by that. She then proceeded to tell me that I was conceived in 222 East 17th street in Brooklyn, New York. I began to fear what it all might have meant. I didn't want to know. Then, today I went to Target. After roaming the 2nd floor with no real aim at all, I found a small guitar section. They had two of each, acoustic and electric. I wanted a new guitar for Christmas but I didn't think that it was possible. The price itself made it all the more possible to purchase it, but that wasn't what caught my eye. Embroided on each guitar was a number. 222. They were all in a 222 series. I saw this as a sign that I should strongly consider buying one. I didn't. I don't know why, but I didn't. I got home and spoke to my dear friend Jennifer. I told her about my love affair of the numerologic kind. She found it to be weird. The more I looked into it, I appreciate it that much more. As I researched the numbers some more, apparently 222 is a sign from my Spirit Guide that I'm on the right track and I am following my life the way I am supposed to. I cannot be any more excited about that, because what I worry about most is me not being where I am supposed to be. I question my decisions so much. Its great to know that just by looking at a number, I'm able to know whether I'm making a good decision or not. Other people might not find relying on a number as a viable source or reliability, but this is my life and I'm a weird guy. I love anything unorthodox and controversial. One more thing, my birthday is 12.11.86. Let's look at 12, then the 11, and then the 86. 12, 1*2=2. 11, 1+1=2. 86, 8-6=2. 2.2.2. There's more to everything in life. The truth is through the looking glass.

brain fart

I'm beginning to think that I do that too much. Think. I over-analyze everything way too much. I'm always happy and never satisfied at the same time. I am what I like to call an overly emotional person. I'm that person that seems to always be in a good mood. When I enter a bad mood, it lingers like the end of a 2 year relationship. It isn't as bad as it might be seen, but it's still a weird thing to be around. I know what I want, but I'm too scared to go after it. Failure is something that I fear, but more than that, I've been let down way too much. I always seem to get my hopes up and then nothing happens. The anticipation just dies down like the infamous sneaker hype of 2006. Why should I ever tell anyone how I really feel? Either I look too much into something or I overlook a vital piece of the puzzle. I prized things and people that look unattainable and then get bummed out over the expectations that were not met. I have my pessimistic moments where it seems like i am never positive. I really am, I think that this blog is my negative outlet. Where I scream outside underneath my calm and stress-free demeanor. Skateboarding does a lot for me because it helps me express myself and tire the stress out of my body. The blog portion of my expressive self is me actually putting out there how i feel, since tend to keep it all hidden inside. Do i trust women? nope. if you knew me, you would know why. do i trust my family? nope. there isn't anyone to trust. i'm sorry to all four of the people who read this, i don't want to seem like i'm crazy or mentally unstable because i'm fine. things are just weird and will continue to be weird for a while.

i dig you. is it even noticeable?

Let's celebrate Festivus together

Ok, so I don't really celebrate Festivus, the holiday for the rest of us. I am merely just a fan on Seinfeld. I am, however, an advocate of treating each other nicely. While December, the greatest month of all, is the only month people are consistently nice to each other and it should be more often, I'll take it. We should learn from the Christmas of 2008. While we are all broke and trying to conserve as much money as possible, we are still spending money on the people that are closest to us. Why? Because we love them and we want them to know that we haven't forgotten about them. It has never been about the money or the material items. For all I know, I will not be receiving a thing. I am perfectly okay with that. My gift to myself is to live free. And its just that. Free. For others, I'll get them something because they deserve it. I rarely have money to toss around for other people since I have bill and other personal expenses, so this is the time where I say forget responsibilities and all of the sort. I don't care if I don't get those special people something that they had their heart set on. I just want to see them smile with a good memory. That's my method with everyone, from family to friends to women to strangers. I won't give you something of material or anything physical but I will definitely try to make a moment as memorable as possible. So for this Christmas, since Uncle Sam has our pockets in the Walls Of Jericho (Jerichoholics, Unite!), make the extra effort to make this holiday time as memorable as possible. Remember that even without endless funds, you still had a great time with the ones you truly cherish.

And for those that care, you can get me the following:
1. A Thrasher magazine hoody (not the one with the pentagram)
2. DVS Munition CT black/orange (I wear a size 13)
3. A guitar
4. Boxers
5. Socks
6. Undershirts
7. The woman that I covet, not any of these boring chicks that seem to like me.

I know I will not get these from other people, I just wanted the dozen people out there to know what I wanted.

Battle of the Century!

Answer this: If Adebisi from the show Oz and rapper T.I. had a fight, who's beanie would fall off first?

Think about it.

As I awaken, the dream still breathes...

...even when I want to give up. It is times like these that makes me wish my life was different. In a subtle way here and there, but different somewhere. Things that have happened, I can never change. I can only learn from those events that were inevitable. However, although I have learned a great dea in a semi-short time frame, I am still fearful of tomorrow. I find myself hesitant to spend $3.00 on toothpaste. Please, do not mistake me for a cheapskate or a penny pincher. I am just fearful of that famous saying,'the past always repeats itself'. If I ever had to relive those past events, it would be then that I lose my strength and quit on myself. I love my friends and the little family that I do have, but twice in one lifetime is a wager that I do not have the funds to risk. That is a debt that I can never afford. What keeps my going is a dream. The dream of dreams that will one day be real to me. A dream of a life of completion. A dream of the sense of satisfaction. As of right now, I do not believe in monetary value. Where I want to be is somewhere that money can never take me. I would love for my mother and little brothers to have the wealth of the world. I do not need it. As long as certain assets are secured, I can go along with my life as I would like to. Playing a guitar and drinking a Pina Colada with my wife at my side, relaxing. Maybe a son to teach backside ollies to. A daughter to take to the park and have food gatherings with. Who knows such things? All I know is that this is all just a dream. Dreams feel just like reality when you are in them. Are you dreaming right now? Are you awake? Awaken yourself, then fall back asleep. Dream with me and let the stars set us free.

Excuse my gibberish. I have a slight headache and I'm playing Kingdom Hearts. SMH.

I have the best friends. EVER.

Seriously. I love them all.

Also, my bromance with Brad Pitt is ever so evident. Go see 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button', because Brad Pitt's bro just told you to.

No homo.

The Day The People Were Silenced

December 11th, 1986. The day that Jahmaalah Kaiye Brown was born unto this world. I am the kind of person that appreciates whatever I get. Materials and well wishes are one in the same. To me, just showing love is enough to make me happy. To know that I was thought of and someone took time out of their day to let me know that they wish me a happy birthday, *sigh*, that just hits my soul like a jackhammer on cinderblocks. I love it and appreciate it so much. When that does not happen, it hits me a way that is almost indescribable. I come from a family that is not a family. We are not close at all. My mother and I grew apart many times over and it is now that we are trying to mend a relationship that was once as strong as Gorilla Glue. All I have is my friends. All I had were my friends. To know that I was easily forgotten, I can truthfully say that it makes me sad. It makes me feel hurt. It makes me upset, mainly because I try to go the extra mile and remember theirs. I try to make their days as memorable as possible. The one day that I share with very few people, one that I can call my own, does not belong to me anymore. I am not mad at anyone anymore. I believe that some budget cuts need to be made. Its the only way to save the struggling economy of my psyche.

Bros before hoes

Seriously guys. Too many men have forgotten this.

Callousness

Everyone is afraid of pain. When I speak to most women, they say that they do not want to get close to a man because of their fear of rejection. They fear that they might get hurt. When my mind soaks up all of that vital information, it comes to the conclusion that these people are lucky. They are lucky to feel. People take their emotions extremely for granted. They do so because it is difficult to appreciate what you use every second of every day. The worst fear of humans, should not be of hurt, but should be of feeling nothing. The worst feeling is one that feels nothing. The irony is clear and almost outlandish. When an individual should be ecstatic, he or she feels nothing. When a person should be scared, they go about it as routinely as a morning shower. Nothing should be seen as protocol. Fear is what makes victory all the more tasteful. No one likes a person that overly basks in their own glory, but if the enjoy their moment on a more personal level, why not? The reason for the feeling of accomplishment is because of the thought of impossibility. A person feels as if something is unattainable. The idea of them completing this task is the most farfetched possibility ever. Yet, when faced with the fear of failure, the person overcomes. Does that not FEEL good? Does anyone know what that is called? It is called life. Live it. Do not be afaid to take risks. The higher the risk factor, the better. When someones heart feels like it is about to burst out of his or her chest, think of how the sense of relief will feel when they acocmplish their goal. Your veins, central nervous system, and brain, three separate but equal organs, are the only things that separate a human to a vegetable. Someone will disagree with me. That much is certain. The fear of being incorrect is there and evident, which makes the moment that I prove I am correct, that much brighter.

Shizzle.

the road to nothingness is a long one...

...Filled with trials and tribulations. Trial and error. Ups and downs. Mistakes, mishaps, and misunderstandings. The question is: how do you know that how you feel is really how you feel? You want this because you cannot have it. You break your neck to get within reach of your prized goal. You do any and everything in order to achieve the victory of your hearts content. Then when you get it, you are bored with it. You want it no more. Why is that? Why is it that we want what we cannot have and then when we receive it, it bores us? I do not know the answer to that question at all, mainly because I am its biggest endorser and its biggest victim. I am your enemy. I am your friend. Fight me and love me at the same time. I am confidence and self-loathe. I am what you want, what you cannot have, and what you waste. I am human. I feel. I breathe. I love, hate, laugh and cry. Never come to me for the answer. Come to me so that I may walk with you on the path to find it. I may not be the best person on the planet, but a friend I am indeed.

Babbling off while watching The Matrix Trilogy. So lame, Jay is. That was Yoda talk, btw.

women and Jay

I will never hate women, although at times it seems like we can never totally see eye to eye. 'I will never truly understand women', is the biggest understatement that I may possibly ever make. Not only will I never understand THEM but I may never really understand MYSELF. Allow me to elaborate before I face the judicial branches of your heart. With a woman that is not really the pearl of my eye, I think almost technologically. Processing possibility after possibility till I reach the one that would boost my stock the highest. I was too cerebral in my strategies, which caused me to lose interest almost as suddenly as I found it. Then there are the women that actually make me think. Not process, but think. They may seem like the same, but let me assure you that they are very different in this aspect. The difference is the 'try' factor. I actually TRY to make a good impression. I try so hard that I end up failing miserably. The chain is always irreversible. A domino effect of mishap after mishap leads to the Jay Stock to plummet faster than the status of our economy at this present moment in time. My solution to this problem: stop getting close to women. Period. The sole exception: mommy. That is it. Why pay attention to a gender that barely recognizes my existence? It may seem like I am being ultra-pessimistic, but believe me, I am not built to date. I thought that I was, but the female gender has proved otherwise. Through trial and error, I have come to realize that I just need to quit. The dreams of sharing a future with an equal counterpart has dissipated. No one visits my blog, so I have no worries about whomever this may affect. Bottom line is, simply, I Quit. White flag raised. I surrender. You win. That IS what you wanted, right?







P.S.- how was my writing in this piece? Good, bad, mediocre? Whatever.

what skateboarding means to me

Sometimes when people ask me "what made you get into skateboarding?", I can almost always never find the right words to describe it. The more I think about it, the more it comes to light. So many people gained the courage to start skateboarding because of its increased popularity, including myself. Some of them may be posers. Some of them may be lifers. In time, we will know for sure. As for right now, this is the life that we live. For me, skateboarding is a retreat away from the daily trash that goes on. It is an escape from reality. It is something that, through my own mind and body movements, is truly mine and mine alone. Skateboarding is like poetry in motion. It is like a beautiful story being told with flowing limbs and variations of tricks. Skateboarding is something that we have that no one else can. We understand each other. This is all that we need to have in common. As we skate, if you hear anything that remotely sounds like polyurethane wheels, your turn and look to see if there is a skateboarder in sight. If you see him or her, you release a head nod, or a "sup". You offer them something that you only offer those you are willing to get somewhat close to you, a greeting. I will even go so far as to say that now I hate to walk. Why walk when I can skate? The feeling of street beneath my feet is a feeling that nothing else can duplicate. Skateboarding is beautiful. No matter how much the corporate goombas try to get a piece of the pie, it will always be ours. It will always be pure in our hearts.

The quest to become the urban gentleman

I've been reading a lot of Men's Health and GQ magazine and I've decided it's time for a new men. Not just on the physical and fashionable spectrum, but overall attitude as well. It's time for a new me. Please, accompany me into the path of becoming the new age Urban Gentleman. I will be posting some tips as I get them so that we can grow together, embracing our youth and remaining hip while still getting sharper everyday.

From Men's Health March 2008

Use SCENT to snare her, subliminally

"Fragrances are linked to our emotions," says Rachel Herz, Ph.D., a visiting professor at Brown University medical school and the author of The Scent Of Desire. "That's because the brain's smell center, the limbic system, also underlies learning and emotion." Here, find our favorite new scents, plus tips for deploying them.

GO EASY ON HER NOSE

One whiff of a man's fragrance causes a significant rise in bloodflow in a woman, according to researchers at the University of Indiana. But don't bathe in the stuff. "We have more receptors for smell than wee have for any other sense except vision," says Herz. If your scent is discernible to anyone farther than 2 feet from you, dial back the amount you use.


SPIN YOUR SCENT

A man's smell is the single most important physical factor influencing a woman's sexual attraction, according to Herz's research. But "women don't differentiate much between real body odor and fragrance," she says. If a woman thinks a man smells great, she will find him attractive whether it comes from his body or a bottle. The key is to allow your own musk to mix with your spritzed-on accents. One spray to your chest before you dress will allow the fragrance to mix with your natural scent and keep the smell subtle.


STIFLE OLD OLFACTORY FLAMES

If a woman is already passionate about a scent, think twice about adopting it for yourself. "Once an association to an odor has been formed, it's difficult to reassociate that odor with something different," says Herz. Translation: She might connect a fragrance to a slew of intensely sexual or deeply emotional experiences with an ex. The human nose can tease apart 10,000 different odors. Our advice: Turn her onto something new (start with the scents shown below).

PAIR SMELLS WITH OCCASIONS

An aroma is inherently meaningless until it's paired with an experience, says Herz, so plan something novel or significant when you break out a new cologne. Another context-dependent trick: Swap scents to match the occasions, using one cologne for date nights, another for outdoor activities, and another over lazy, romantic weekends. She'll begin to associate those great times with each fragrance - like an on-demand scrapbook of pleasant memories.

LEAVE A PARTING GIFT

In a 2006 University of Pittsburgh study, 72 percent of women said they had cuddled up at night with a partner's clothing. The most reason given? "To remember him." The habit is an opportunity, says Herz. Leave a well known T-shirt at her place after a night spent watching movies, or let her keep the sweatshirt she nabbed from you the night before to stay warm. "It's most effective if you use a cotton shirt that you've worn for a day or so - better overnight than out at a bar," says Herz. "That gives you your natural scent time to soak into the cotton."

SCENTS FOR GENTS

Chanel Allure Homme sport $75
@ chanel.com



Derek Jeter Driven Black $26
@ avon.com



Dolce & Gabbana The One for Men $70
@ Dolce & Gabbana boutiques



Stay in tune for more update to become sharper in this dull world.

PEACE! and much love to you . . . .

Djimon Hounsou : My newest idol

Man, something about this guy in a film just stands out to me. If you met him in the street, how could you possibly disrespect him? He exudes respect. Bow down to the black man! He sure is black as hell though. all the same, he's the MAN!





PEACE! and much love to you . . . .

I been away for a minute, i know y'all done missed me. . . .

Blogging will be back in effect soon enough. sit tight but not yeast infection tight.

Remember the days . . . . vol. 1

I miss them old days . . . . . here's to what was once greatness












































for the sake of your comps, I'll stop here. Stay in tune for vol. 2

PEACE! and much love to you . . . .

Ridiculous Mike Tyson Quotes

LMAO @ Mike. I love this dude.



PEACE! and much love to you . . . .

Newest Logisama beanie

Might be seen as crappy but hey, its just the beginning and we have to trial and error shit to make sure some things fit our style. It's only the beginning so prepare yourselves for better shit in 08.



PEACE! and much love to you . . . .

Send Toronto Raptors Forward Chris Bosh to the All Star game 2008 in New Orleans!

PEACE! and much love to you . . . .

Behold, the most intense basketball player on the planeet: Kevin Garnett

Man, this guy loves the game SO much. This is what I love about people. the passion that they can have about something that they love. Its beautiful. Basketball is beautiful and you couldnt tell me anything else. This is the way I am with everything that I involve myself with. I have to give 1000%, always. It feels so good to see that in someone else. The purity of it all makes everything worth while.

Spec video of "Us Placers" by my homgirl Va$htie

Ok, so I don't really know her, but she's on my contact list. So here it is, CRS (Child Rebel Soldier), the supergroup of Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, and Pharrell, and the video "Us Placers".



PEACE! and much love to you. . . .

Stressed out mang. . . .

Damn, short on rent another month, another lie to tell Mr. Greedy Landlord. On top of that, a certain someone left the damn state; for good reason though so I would be OD selfish to get mad. Anyways, my stomach hurts so before I go do the dirty thang, some goodies for you folk. . .

BUY ME THESE!!!


And for that special someone, this will be the type of crib I'll have. Will you join me for dinner and a movie and call it a Blockbuster night ?













My big brother Kanye's L.A. crib. I go there on the weekends.
Pssssshhhhhh, RIGHT!

PEACE! and much love to you. . . .